Tale of a Tree

Dear Constant Reader,

You have probably hear me talk at length about our sour cherry tree. We planted it not long after moving into The Manor and over the years it grew from a tiny tree, producing maybe a pound of cherries, to a two-story beauty, giving us more cherries than we could pick.

For three or four weeks every June and July, everything would be cherries at The Manor. I would spend all my free time baking and preserving and trying new recipes. I know plenty of people who looked forward to being invited over for some cobbler or being gifted with a jar of jam. Betty would come over and steadily pick cherries until there was no more room in our fridge. The last harvest she gave a gallon or so to Deacon Giles who turned them into the most delicious cocktail cherries. Despite her diligent work, we usually were only able to pick a percentage of the fruit and eventually let the birds have the rest.

Last year the blossoms on the tree were not nearly as luxuriant, but I knew it had been a bad winter for stone fruit trees. We only got about a pound of fruit (as opposed to 35-40 lbs. most years) and when the leaves started dropping prematurely, I called an arborist. He suggested we wait until spring, just to see if it recovered after a proper winter.

I am sad to say, my friends, it did not recover.

I am grateful wasn’t home on the day it was cut down. I was prepared for it, having done my hysterical crying and mourning already when I realized there was no hope for the tree. But I didn’t need to see it come down. The crew saved the largest parts of the trunk for us, so Scratch can make something beautiful with the wood.

A week later the guys were back with a stump grinder and all that was left of our beloved tree was wood chips.

But all is not lost. When the arborist warned me that even if the tree recovered, it still might not have too much longer. So, last fall I bought a new Montmorency cherry tree and have been growing it in a tub in the back yard. I sprung for the most mature tree I could get, but it’s still only a wee baby.

Yesterday, it moved into its new home!

It already has a cherry! I know we have to be patient to get the kind of harvests we used to, but before long we will be blessed with a wealth of cherries.

These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 20 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

Friday Tip

Dear Constant Reader,

Happy Friday! It’s lovely out today and we are just over one week away from Isle of Tease at Deacon Giles! Do you have your tickets? We’ve got some great new acts for you!

This week’s tip is for audience members and I’m sorry I’ve got to give it.

Stay off the stage.

I know that seems obvious, but you’d be surprised.

I have definitely been in shows where security has had to keep patrons from joining the show. I’m glad you’re inspired, but the performers are the ones here to entertain the audience. 

I remember one not-sober college student becoming so besotted with Dominique that she ran on stage and tried to hug Dominique in the middle of her act. Dominique gently led her to the side of the stage where someone took charge of her. That’s a bit disruptive, but not dangerous. Although sometimes it can be dangerous.

What sparked this tip was video I saw recently of Lavendelle, one of my Stripper’s Holiday compatriots. As she stood on a folding chair in her platform stilettos, facing the back of the stage, someone came up and smacked her on the ass. There are so many things wrong with that. Not only is it potentially assault (maybe even sexual assault), she was certainly not expecting it and could have lost her careful balance and been injured.

Please note, I’m not talking about when audience members are invited onto the stage. Sometime a volunteer is needed for something or it’s someone’s birthday and they’re going to be celebrated. That’s done with everyone’s consent.

These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 20 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

Review: Striporama

Dear Constant Reader,

Whilst I was swooning on my invalid’s couch I might as well watch a movie and write a review. I should have picked a different movie because I had so many questions from this one

Striporama, 1953, directed by Jerald Intrator (Something Weird Video release)

Unlike most burlesque movies of the time, Striporama tries to have a plot or at least a frame story. The New York Council of Culture is choosing the forms of entertainment to put into a time capsule and they are all agreed that burlesque has no place. Cut to two comics (Jack Diamond and Mandy Kay) bumbling around their apartment. The gags are pretty typical of burlesque comedy, only notable for one where a picture of their dream girl comes to life and… it’s Bettie Page! She dances in a tiny fringe bikini and notably speaks a few lines before vanishing leaving the comics to wake up in each other’s arms.

Cut back to the Council of Culture where the comics, led by Charles Harris (the straightman) burst in, dressed as gangsters and force the councilmen to watch a burlesque film. It went something like this: (this is long; for my summary go here.)

A parade of scantily-clad women, presumably The Venus Beauties, enter one by one and sit in a semi-circle. Each one is carrying a staff with a heart on top with one letter that, of course, spells out “BURLESQUE”. There’s an off-camera “tit singer” warbling about the Goddess of Love. The camera is particularly focused on the women’s legs.

Georgia Sothern, speaking in rhyme, introduces the four types of strippers (g-string quartet). She portrays them all: the baby-doll type: dressed in frills and ruffles;  the slow and easy type: slinking across the stage;  the wild and woolly type: Georgia’s typical fast and furious dance;  and the literary genius: a clear Gypsy Rose Lee impression (Gypsy and Georgia were best friends). In no case does she take off more than one garment. The clip felt like it was taken out of a larger context.

We see a woman undressing in silhouette in her window. At the end, she turns out the light, never having shown herself.

The comics do a sketch set in the jungle. I’ll be honest here — I don’t find a lot of classic burlesque comedy funny, so I skipped over this after getting the gist.

Marinette and Andre perform a Danse Apache on a Parisian street scene. This was pretty nifty. Not only is it a feat of athleticism and skill, I recently learned a lot about the history which I might share in a future post. These two were amongst the few credited performers that I could match with their acts.

Back to the comics, this time on a carnival set, where there are magic tricks involving eggs and hats.

Rosita Royce is the first of the star stripteases. One by one, her signature doves fly out and settle on her arms (protected with sequined sleeves) and headdress. Despite the stories that she had trained her doves to undress her, she takes off her own dress, no mean feat with multiple doves balanced on her arms. Her underlayer is relatively modest with a bra and full, rather drapey panties and even a large jewel covering her navel. However, while she had the dress on, I think she was wearing a g-string. I’m pretty sure I could see her bare bum through the sheer dress.

For more comedy we go to a harem where a pasha tells his assembled wives and daughters (presumably the Venus Beauties again) that he is going to honor a brave American sailor who saved his life during the war. The sailor can have his pick of four of the pasha’s daughters, but they will come before him one by one. If he rejects one, he can’t choose her later. Three of the daughters bellydance for him, but he turns them down. The pasha offers his most precious daughter. Cut to a bathing room.

As attendant prepare a (rather obviously empty) tub, Bettie Page prepares to bathe. I found her dipping her toe into the “water” to test the temperature funnier than the comedians. Next you see her in a tub full of soap bubbles, in which she joyfully plays.

Back in the harem, the last daughter dances for the sailor, and as the last one he must marry her and of course, when she removes her veil, it’s the other comic. *rim shot*

The comics return on the same carnival set as the magic trick sketch. Mr. America, a well-muscled man, performs feats of strength. He plays the trumpet while flexing his pecs, he performs a Cossack-style dance while playing the harmonica with a woman sitting on his shoulders, one of the comics puts on a harness and Mr. America picks him up using his teeth. For the finale, he effortfully lifts a 1000 pound barbell, which, of course, the comic easily picks up for the punchline. Although credited only as Mr. America, apparently it was fitness guru Jack LaLanne.

At last some more stripping. Georgia Sothern does a kind of a poor woman’s Lili St. Cyr on a set crowded with furniture. She’s reclining on a chaise in a robe reading a magazine when the phone rings. After the call, she slips behind a screen and joyfully removes the robe and puts on a gown. Then she adds a fur coat and a corsage. Another phone call, which ends poorly. Angrily she rips off the corsage, then the coat, then she goes back to the screen, returns to the robe. Finally she flops down onto the chaise and picks up her magazine again.

Cut back to the set, now cleared of almost all the furniture, and Georgia does her famous head-bobbing striptease. Like Rosita above, she only takes off one garment, a gown, and she’s basically full dressed underneath — panel skirt, drapey panties, bra, and navel jewel.

The movie ends here, but apparently there was a bit more where the Council agrees (of course) to add burlesque to the time capsule. It’s missing from the Something Weird print, which as far as I can tell, is the only one available.

But wait, you say, that poster advertises Lili St. Cyr. Where is she? Patience, my friends.

tl;dr.
Striporama is a bit higher-end than many other burlesque movies. Typically a burlesque movie was filmed in black and white and often with a fixed camera as though you were in the audience at a theatre, (aka as cheaply as possible), usually in an actual theatre.  This appears to be multi-camera, on a number of different sets, as well as in color.

For a movie promising a “striporama”, there’s very little actually stripping. Only Rosita Royce and Georgia Sothern (neither in the credits) perform anything close to a striptease and what they do perform is quite modest. They don’t go down to pasties and even cover their navels.

Since there’s no MC or title cards, like in other burlesque movies, I don’t know where the other performers in the credits appear, particularly Pat Lombard, Nola Lee, Betty Tunell, Doris Mackenzie, Anne Slayton.

According to some posters, Lili St. Cyr’s act “Cinderella’s Love Lesson”, was originally included, but I’ve seen it as a stand-alone film with credits from a different production company. Apparently it was pretty common for burlesque films to be cut up and repackaged. I’m wondering if the strip features were taken from elsewhere and inserted amongst the footage shot by Intrator and crew. It would explain why the stripteasers are credited on the posters, but not the film itself.

I’d be interested to see if any print other than the SWV version exists.

These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 20 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

Friday Tip

Dear Constant Reader,

Happy Friday! I was just out for a walk and the trees are covered with blossoms. Spring is such a brief and lovely thing in New England! This week’s tip is:

There is no set order in which to remove your costume pieces.

Sure, sometimes you have to remove one garment to get to another, like shoes before stockings, or it will be easier for you to manipulate a fastening if you’re not wearing your gloves at that point. However, there is absolutely no reason to follow the “canonical” striptease of gloves>gown>bra if you don’t want to. It changes the audience’s expectations.

When I created my Lizzie Borden act, over a decade ago, I used to take the blood-stained apron off as the very first thing, then the skirt, then the blouse. Very pedestrian. Very much like getting undressed for bed. Now I take off the blouse and the skirt under the apron. It’s a bit more challenging, but there’s more tease. And the audience can have a little surprise when the apron finally comes off.

These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 20 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

Review: Punk Rock Aerobics

Dear Constant Reader,

Your Faithful Correspondent is laid up in bed with some sort of bug (I’m doing better, just very tired) and since I can’t seem to bring myself to do any of the active things had planned for the day, how about a book review.

Punk Rock Aerobics by Maura Jasper and Hilken Mancini, 2004.

Wait, you say, is this our refined Miss Mina writing of punk rock? You many not believe this, but as a dainty young thing I could be found in the mosh pit at an all-ages hardcore club. I still retain a great deal of affection for the music. And you know how I love creative workouts.

I encountered Punk Rock Aerobics last fall whilst I was working on the Boston Public Library Passport Challenge (a missive for another day). The Parker Hill branch of the BPL was celebrating “Punk Rock Week” and I decided it give the it a whirl. I had a lot of sweaty fun and picked up the book.

The creators hated traditional fitness classes and gyms, but wanted to get in shape. After becoming certified aerobics instructors, like true punks, they tossed everything out and developed their own gritty workouts with moves like “skank” and “Iggy’s pop”. However, many of the exercises are ones you would recognize, just with punkier names, like the “unnatural axe” is a hamstring stretch.

The book takes you through the equipment needed, including good sneakers, a mat, water, weights (they use bricks) and then progresses through the vocabulary: stretches (both warm-up and cool-down), cardio, strength training (standing and on the floor). All of these are illustrated with black and white photos. The cardio moves are classified as hi-fi or lo-fi (high or low impact) or both. Difficulty is rated with skulls. “Hand-written” notes give helpful tips.

After an extensive tour of the moves, they show you how to create workouts. Pick three cardio moves (a mix of hi & lo-fi) and a song, which they call combo-hatching. You’ll be doing the three moves over and over to the song. Fortunately, punk songs are pretty short, so there will be a lot of variety in each cardio section. Then string your combos together into rock blocks. Choose your stretches and strength moves and put them all together into a workout of your desired length. Don’t panic, there are plenty of examples of combos and sample workouts.

The last chapter is tips on how to sustain your fitness practice. Throughout the book there are Q & A’s with musicians about their fitness routines and the authors recommend movies and albums for inspiration. The tone of the book overall is, as you might imagine, irreverent, but encouraging.

It’s hard to learn physical skills from a book, so I wouldn’t recommend this to a fitness novice. But if you’ve got some exercise experience, this is a fun way to shake things up.

A live PRA class ends with the instructors lobbing mini-candy bars at you, so give yourself a sweet treat when you’re done sweating.

These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 20 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

Friday Tip

Dear Constant Reader,

It’s Friday again! I try to makes these tips practical or uplifting — more “do”s than “don’t”s, but that’s not the case this week.

Sometimes people just suck.

There are people in the burlesque scene who seem to derive pleasure from attacking others and rallying others to do similar. Sometimes those who do not join in or speak in opposition become targets themselves.

I don’t have any solutions. Just that if you have been the victim of one of these campaigns, you have my sympathies. If you are considering jumping on the bandwagon, think about the facts of the situation and form your own opinion before spouting someone else’s line.

There are much more important things in the world to be outraged about than the drama du jour, which, if taken far enough, can not only drive people out of the burlesque scene, but permanently damage their reputations and even livelihoods.

These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 20 Patrons. Welcome to my newest Patron, Danielle Colby! Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

Friday Tip

Dear Constant Reader,

Happy Friday! Here’s your tip:

Make sure your jewelry and your act are compatible.

I don’t just mean that the jewelry coordinates with your costume. Rhinestone jewelry is notoriously catchy; check that you aren’t going to snag delicate fabrics on the settings (I have a tip that can help!). Can you wear bracelets with your gloves and still do a smooth peel? Does your necklace look good with the different necklines of your costume layers? Do your earrings get tangled in your hair after some vigorous floorwork? Try it all out in advance and you’ll look polished on stage.

These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 19 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

In the Kitchen: Furmenty

Dear Constant Reader,

I’ve briefly left Fannie Farmer to cook with Mrs. Crocombe. The latest Victorian Way video from English Heritage has her cooking furmenty. I immediately perked up because we have a lot of wheat berries left over from Christmas Eve dinner when I made kutya. Kutya is a traditional Ukrainian Christmas Eve dessert made from wheat berries cooked in almond milk, then baked with dried fruit, nuts, ground poppy seeds, and honey. As we could only find the wheat berries in a five pound bag, I’ve got lots in the pantry.

What is furmenty? Also spelled “frumenty” (and apparently “furmity”), it’s a wheat-based dish that goes back to the middle ages. The medieval version was savory and served as a side-dish, usually with venison. Here’s a recipe from Forme of Cury, a 14th century manuscript:

FOR TO MAKE FURMENTY. Nym clene Wete and bray it in a morter wel that the holys gon al of and seyt yt til it breste and nym yt up. and lat it kele and nym fayre fresch broth and swete mylk of Almandys or swete mylk of kyne and temper yt al. and nym the yolkys of eyryn. boyle it a lityl and set yt adoun and messe yt forthe wyth fat venyson and fresh moton.
(To make furmenty. Take clean wheat and grind it in a morter well that the hulls are gone all off and simmer it until it bursts and take it up.  And let it cool and take fair fresh broth and sweet milk of almonds or sweet milk of cows and mix it all. and take the yolks of eggs. Boyle it a little and set it down and serve it forth with fat venison and fresh mutton.)

The Victorian version is sweeter and served as a dessert. It’s very simple and it’s the sort of recipe you wouldn’t find in a cookbook, as Mrs. Crocombe says “nobody writes down the everyday”.

You need:
Wheat berries, some form of dairy, spices, dried fruit, eggs, and sweetener.

Cook wheat berries. I rinsed mine and then simmered them in water for an hour until tender. You can also soak them overnight to reduce the cooking time or use a pressure cooker. Let cool. You can do this step a couple of days ahead of time.

When you’re ready to prepare the dish, first soak some raisins or currents (I used both!) in hot water or a bit of booze to plump them up. Cook the wheat with milk or cream (I split the difference and used half & half) until hot, then add in the drained dried fruit and spices (I used cinnamon and nutmeg, but you could use pumpkin pie spice).

Add beaten eggs. The instructions with the video recommended “cooking them off the heat if you like a just-cooked result, or on it if you prefer your eggs scrambled.” I do not like my eggs scrambled, but I wanted to make sure they were cooked, so I tempered them with a bit of the hot milk before adding to the pot and cooking for a bit.

Serve with sugar to taste. My taste is not very sweet, so I didn’t add any. Honey or agave would work too and probably blend better.

It was very good! Thick and creamy with some chew from the wheat and fruit. I used half the recipe from the video and got a *lot*. I probably could have cut it in half again and still had some leftovers. A couple of days later I added some chopped dried apricots and warmed the remaining frumenty up. Scratch had the brilliant idea of adding a little candied blood orange peel on top. I also had the last of it for breakfast and it was a nice change from my usual oatmeal.

If I made it again (and why not, it was pretty darn easy), I would add other dried fruits and some toasted nuts, maybe a touch of ginger with the spices. Oh, or maybe chopped crystalized ginger.

Here’s the recipe as I made it, adapted from English Heritage.
Furmenty a la Mrs. Crocombe
1/2 lb. wheat berries (about 1 cup)
2 cups half & half (or milk or cream)
2 ounces raisins
2 ounces currants
Brandy (or hot water or rum or wine or other spirits)
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
1 egg
Sugar (or honey or agave or maple syrup)

Cook wheat berries as directed until tender. I rinsed mine and simmered in 3 1/2 cups water for an hour. Drain. Reserve until ready to cook.

Pour brandy over dried fruit until just covered. Let soak.

Heat wheat and half & half together until hot. Don’t boil.

Drain fruit and add to mixture with spices. Blend very well to incorporate the spices.

Crack egg into a small bowl and beat well. Gradually add some of the hot liquid while beating further. Pour the tempered egg mixture into the pot and stir well until all is combined and hot. It will thicken quite a bit.

Sweeten to taste and serve warm.

These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 19 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

Review: Carol Doda Topless at the Condor

Dear Constant Reader,

Last week I saw the documentary Carol Doda Topless at the Condor. By the way, what a pleasure it is to see a movie in a theatre! I found out the movie was playing near us at about the last minute and I’m glad the timing worked out so that we were able to see it. It’s not about burlesque per se, but the transitional period of adult entertainment between burlesque and the neo-burlesque revival.

Carol Doda was a cocktail waitress at the San Francisco night spot the Condor Club in North Beach in the early 1960s. Once the management saw how well the audience reacted to her dancing to the band, they had her dance on stage, or rather on the piano, since there wasn’t room on stage. One of the owners decided that the piano should descend from the ceiling with Carol on it and that became her signature.

On June 19, 1964 Carol Doda donned a monokini (topless swimsuit) and descended on the piano into history as the first topless dancer.  A topless craze followed which changed the trajectory of entertainment. San Francisco became a mecca for tourists and conventioneers and the Condor was the hottest night spot. Carol Doda was so synonymous with the Condor that a giant image of her adorned the exterior of the club (with flashing red lights for nipples) as well as her name, seemingly where ever there was a blank bit of wall.

The documentary consists of archival footage (of which there is an absolute wealth), present day interviews with people who knew Carol, and modern academics to put parts of the story into context. Although the main subject of the documentary is obviously Carol Doda and her role as the pioneering topless and then bottomless dancer, there are other topics to flesh out the story, such as Rudi Gernreich, the futurist fashion designer who created the monokini*, the origins of The Swim dance, nightlife in North Beach, local musicians, interracial relationships (with some very painful stories), the myth of bra burning, &c. It doesn’t always mesh with the main theme of the film, but it’s all interesting.

One of the most important subjects of the film was Carol Doda’s breasts. When she first became a sensation, she had modestly-sized breasts, but, knowing that as topless dancing became more common, she needed to set herself apart from all the others. Thus she opted** to enlarge her breasts. At the time that meant silicone injections. Be warned: there is some seriously disturbing contemporary footage of a woman undergoing the procedure and a horrific story from one of the interviewees. Carol endured 44 shots of silicone, until even her doctor was telling her to stop, bringing her bust to a 44DD.

Both she and the Condor were massive successes. They had a symbiotic relationship, which ended when Carol asked for more pay for her twelve shows a night. She also asked to buy into the club (which one of the owners laughingly dismissed, even today). She left, but the Condor continued to use her name and likeness and thrived. Eventually she returned, having never found the same success elsewhere.

In 1969 she went bottomless, again the first to do so. Her arrests for indecency had lead to a judicial verdict that topless dancing was legal, but bottomless dancing was eventually ruled illegal by the California Alcoholic Beverages Commission.

She worked as an adult entertainer until the mid-’80s, as North Beach became sleazier and the almost innocent fun of topless go-go dancing to a live band was replaced with full nude dancing to canned music, live sex shows, and porn movies. She continued performing, albeit with her clothes on, for most of the rest of her life, even as her health failed. As you’ve probably suspected, the health issues that caused her death in 2015 were related to those silicone shots decades before.

Although we see Carol, often in her own words, as an entertainer, an advocate for free expression, and a business woman, we never really get to know her. She’s funny and charismatic, but when the subject of her personal life comes up, she deflects or makes a joke. Any attempt to learn anything about her family or her past is quickly shut down. Even those who knew her personally didn’t really know much of Carol beyond the stage.

There’s a theme in the film that Carol helped create the zeitgeist of the 1960s, but perhaps she was more of a product of it. Did the court ruling that her topless dancing was self-expression and not indecency lead to the Summer of Love or was the verdict because San Francisco was already headed that way? Was she a product of the male gaze or did she subvert it for her own purposes? In any case, there is no doubt that she was a trailblazer in the world of adult entertainment and freedom of expression.

The documentary is a love letter to Carol Doda and the North Beach entertainment scene. We also learn about some of her contemporary dancers and friends. I was particularly intrigued by the stories from Judy Mamou, who as Tara, danced with a topless monkey! If the film comes to your area, do go see it.

*Ironically, he created the topless swimsuit because he felt a woman’s body should not be sexualized.
** With some pressure from the club’s publicist.

These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 19 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.

Friday Tip

Dear Constant Reader,

It’s a very blustery day here in Boston. I hope everyone is snug inside, or having better weather than we are!

Here’s a tip to brighten up the day:

When removing, keep moving.

I don’t mean that you have to be in constant motion while stripping. In fact, there are time when you want to be still to highlight a garment peel. But make it a deliberate choice. Just stopping dead to remove something and then starting up again can look like it’s hard to do two things at once. And we want the audience to think this is easy (it’s not, but we can make it look easy). So, strut, grind, shimmy, &c. while taking it off. It’s more fun to watch. And it will make those moments when you choose stillness have more impact.

These writings and other creative projects are supported by my 19 Patrons. Thank you so much! To become a Patron, go to my Patreon page. Or you can just tip me if you liked this.